Finally a Name, and where it comes from...

I am reposting my first blog entry from my other blog to explain my Blog name, also to open up a little more on here...This was written November 16th, 2005, and staying true to my title, my life is pretty much the same.


Ok - I have decided to take the step and do this! I guess I am mainly looking for some insight on my life at this point.

The title of my blog - My "Basic Cable" Life comes from a friend of mine and he is accurate in saying this....my life is really very basic at this point, and I guess has been for quite a while now. Sometimes it bothers me, but yet I am content. I am a mother, a single mother at that, and my whole life really revolves around being the best mother I can for my son.

If I know this and am content with it, why am I not happy? What do I really want? Yes, for the most part I am happy. I am able to provide for myself and my son all by myself. I am responsible, I want to be responsible. I go to work everyday, even if I am sick. I pay all of my bills on time. I spend time with my son and do things a good mother should. I read to him, play with him, make cookies, take him places he wants to go and try to keep him as happy as possible. My life is really two things....a mother and an employee. Where did I loose myself? I don't know why I am asking that because I do know. Becoming a mother changed me a lot. A bad relationship changed me a lot. Life experiences have changed me a lot. Age has changed me a lot.

I feel stuck in a rut. My job is extremly boring, but they are good to me and "need" me. I have been here for a little over 4 years now(almost 7 now) ,but know it is not my calling. But I have loyality. Will my loyality end up hurting me in the long run? I have a degree in Criminal Justice. I worked hard for that degree and will be paying for that degree for the next 10+ years. I have been out of college for almost 6 years now(8 now, YIKES) and have been doing nothing with my degree. I want to help people. That is why I went to college. I was following a calling. I had passion and enthusiasm. I knew, somewhere I was going to make a difference! Now, I am not so sure. I still believe it is my calling. I am just very afraid to take that step. I was once fearless, I now fear a lot.